by Zack Eustis

I get a week of summer vacation in June, and then a month in August this year.  I'm excited.  I'm starting a new job next week that is a fifteen minute drive from my apartment which means I probably will only commute to work by car.  I miss my old job already.  The IRONMAN chatter has started back up this week with the weekend of July 17th officially being declared as the IRONMAN date.  Last year the IRONMAN was the day after my birthday which was the greatest birthday present I've gotten since I got to play two baseball games (one under the lights) on my birthday when I was 16.  I can't imagine what will have to happen to make this birthday as awesome as last year's, but I invited Pat Neshek to my party because that would have been sweet.  He turned me down.  I don't know what it's like to write unrequited love letters to Rachel McAdams for 73 days, but this has to be way worse. 

For training lately I've been doing almost nothing but swimming and saunas.  Turns out that gets me in way better shape than jogging or power walking or anything else.  I have the knees of a 76 year old hockey player so swimming is a preferable workout activity for numerous reasons.  In other news, I saw The Hangover this past weekend which was pretty funny but I wouldn't call it the best comedy ever.  Ed Helms (aka Andy Bernard from The Office) is in it and is fast becoming one of my favorite actors (editor-that's because you and him are twins separated at birth).  I work out at the same gym where my old summer camp is run.  It is a really weird concept that I would be there working out while camp is going on, so I'm only going there after camp ends for the day, which is now, so I'm going to go swim now.  Hopefully nobody soiled the pool today.

Running Club has been an overwhelming success.  This weekend was the culmination of three weeks of training as 80 students and their parents participated in the St. Paul Latino Peace Officers Association 1 mile/5K Family Fun Run.  I was asked to be one of the coaches, encouraging the young runners to keep moving for the entire duration of the mile.  We arrived at Joseph's Grill in West St. Paul around 8am Saturday morning to get our numbers, t-shirts, and for some stretching.

During warm ups, I checked in with several of my students, two of whom promised they would keep up with me during the entire mile.  The gym teacher wanted me to be checking in on all of the runners to make sure everyone was doing alright during the race, but I promised my two runners I would stick by them for most of it.  As we got ready to start, I looked around for someone to appreciate the appropriatness of a "I shouldn't have carbo-loaded on fettucini alfredo" reference, but found no takers. 

The horn sounded and we were off.  The track was set up as a loop, with the first half being mostly flat with an uphill jaunt at the midway point, and the way back starting downhill and finishing flat.  Several of the kids started off sprinting but most practiced our preaching of the "pace yourself!  Pace yourself!" and kept things slow and steady.  After a minute I increased my pace to check in on the students who started off running faster.  One fourth grader was running with his mother and had already slowed to a walk, complaining of shoulder pain.  His Mom picked up her pace and said with a wink, "Come on!  You don't want your Mom to beat you do you!  Pick it up!"  I was inspired.

I went a little farther ahead, then I heard fast moving footsteps approach me from my left.  I looked over and saw one of my two runners, a kindergartner, weezing as she slowed to a walk: "I... (gasp, gasp) finally caught you! (gasp, gasp)"  She started to walk but I interrupted, "Keep pumping your arms and moving your legs!  You just caught up to me, I bet you can go even faster!"  I slowed my pace to a trot and jogged with her until her Mom caught up.  "Good work honey!"  She said to her.  "I'm running as fast as Mr. Eustis!"  the girl said right before we hit the hill, which slowed her down considerably.

After the hill there was a cone signaling a turn around which we circled and then went back down the hill.  The kindergartner picked up a head of steam from the hill and ran well ahead of her Mother and me, a pace she managed to sustain for the remainder of the mile.  I checked in with a couple more students (including the fourth grader of Mr. Useless fame) and before I knew it, the Fun Run was over.  I clocked in at a final time of 11 minutes and 53 seconds, and finished behind both the kindergartner and fourth grader who set out to run with me.  At the end of the race all of the kids were given a green ribbon for participating and at the insistance of the kindergartner, I asked for a ribbon as well.  Aaron, you may have run a marathon last fall, but when's the last time you completed a Fun Run in under 12 minutes?

I play in an adult wiffleball league and to quote my match.com profile, yes it is as awesome as it sounds.  We had to reschedule our first games of the season last week so they were played tonight instead.  I know you're probably thinking, "Wiffleball isn't an IRONMAN event!  How the hell does it count as training?"

It's cross training and wiffleball, in my opinion, is a fantastic way to prepare for IRONMAN VII.  I run around a lot, it involves plastic, it involves playing kids games, it combines fun and competition... what's not to like? 

Every week we play a doubleheader.  Since we didn't play last week, we've got two doubleheaders this week.  Awesome.  We played the first one tonight and the second one will be on Thursday.  We lost our first game tonight 2-1.  We were down 2-0 going into the last inning and were inches from tying the game when my teammate/IRONMAN V winner, Brian did a Nick Punto-esque dive into first with a man on third and two outs, miliseconds before the opposing team got him out.  The second game we won 1-0 and I'm proud to say I threw the third no-hitter of my career (Aaron Fix, do I have your attention?)  My teammate Richard made a spectacular leaping grab to rob the other team of a homerun, keeping the win (and no-hitter) intact.

Though posts have been rare lately, rest assured I have been busting my tail during running club to keep up with Aaron's multiple weekly athletic activities.  Posts will be more frequent as I get back into my routine. 

My camera's battery died a week and a half ago which is the reason why there were no pictures of Day 4 training. Truth be told, that thing hasn't been the same since sledding day. Maybe some snow found its way in.

This evening I trained for the Obstacle Course. In six years, I have yet to earn a single point in the Obstacle Course. I hit rock bottom during IRONMAN V when a late afternoon thunderstorm left the playground soaked. Every year the O.C. takes place on a playground with the course designed by us in the twenty minutes before the event. During IRONMAN V we were required at the mid-point to run up a twisty slide. Under normal circumstances, this would test the limits of my killer height/strength/flexibility combo, but under wet conditions, it was nearly impossible. Video footage has confirmed that it took me: 13 tries to get all the way up the slide, the removal of my socks and shoes, at least three minutes to finish the slide portion and a whopping 5 minutes and 34 seconds to finish the entire course, an IRONMAN record (not the good kind) that stands to this day.

Aaron Fix kicks IRONMAN ass on the Obstacle Course every summer. He's won it at least three times, including last year, and to my knowledge has never not gotten at least one point. If I can cut into his overwhelming points dominance of me in the O.C. I have a greater chance of taking home IRONMAN gold.

I have the advantage of living within a three minute walk of not one but TWO playgrounds. Tonight I chose playground B, as it has more IRONMAN friendly equipment. I started off on the slidy thing that you hold on to as you

swing from one platform to another. After that I did the mini-monkey bars, followed by a brief mock-O.C. improv run through the jungle gym.

I practiced climbing (you never want to be ill-prepared to climb during the IRONMAN) on a series of red rubber ropes, then took to the swings for some much needed swinging practice. After cooling off, I sprinted over to the slightly angled slide and, in one glorious try, made it to the top.

I was asked to help supervise "Running Club" at my school.  Running Club is a group of students, faculty and parents that get together twice a week for three weeks in the spring to work on stretching, running, and of course, having fun through being active, and if that doesn't qualify as IRONMAN training, I'm at a loss.

Today marked the first day of Running Club.  The group of 150 students and around a dozen adults met in the gymnasium after school.  I got paired up with the 1st graders and three Kindergartners who joined the group.  After some instructions, the kids were released by grade to go out on the pre-made course and jog "slower than your fastest speed" for ten minutes.  I stayed behind with a kid who was tying his shoes.  That gave the rest of the group a one minute head start. 

I did not want him to fall behind so we ran slightly faster than slower than our fastest speed to catch up.  By the time we reached the rest of the first graders, we had sprinted through the first half of the course.  I slowed to a jog, taking in the sunshine as I felt the endorphines overtake my frame.  Now that I think about it, I don't know what became of the kid who was running with me.  He kept up really well at least as far as when we re-connected with his group, but after that... I'm sure he's fine.

I took in a total of two laps, slowing to a trot to talk with some students and parents.  After ten minutes were up, I went back to the gym for some cool-down stretches.  I felt so motivated by Running Club that I spent the evening at the gym playing basketball, so I guess I got some extra basketball training in today too.  Aaron, what two activities did you do to train for the IRONMAN today?

Today I went to the gym to train for basketball.  They had an Easter egg hunt going on at the gym.  No one else was there so I searched around by myself until I found an egg with a coupon for a prize inside.  I brought my coupon down to the front desk and was rewarded with this sweet Intramural Golf Classic 2008 shirt.  It will now be my new workout shirt.

Basketball is traditionally one of the first two events of the IRONMAN and generally leaves the participants gasping for air by the end of it.  We play three games where the first team to 15 points (scoring by ones and twos) is the winner.  Each member of the winning team is awarded one point towards their IRONMAN point total. 

My basketball skills are somewhat limited; I have a decent outside shot that is very inconsistent and tend to get a fair amount of blocks on defense.  I struggle moving quickly with the ball, miss more lay-ups than a person with my amount of basketball experience should miss, and am almost useless using my left hand for shooting.  Thus, today I practiced dribbling, driving, and left handed lay-ups (and of course, lots of three point shooting; it's too fun not to shoot three pointers.) 

I missed more left-handed lay-ups than I took, but I still made about ten more than I've ever made in the IRONMAN.  If these trends continue, I will be locking down my favorite kind of IRONMAN three pointer this July. 

I did not get to train before work today.  I was asked to do bus duty which means I finally got to ride the bus to school.  To make up for slacking off this morning, I worked out this evening instead.  Carbo-loading is a very important part of the IRONMAN so I ate a big pasta dinner and topped it off with some Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream.  Last year we decided to start eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch, which replaced our five year tradition of eating Chipotle during the mid day break.  There is very little time for digesting during the IRONMAN, so I took very little time to digest before working out tonight.

My focus tonight was on Eggball.  Eggball takes place in the center circle of a soccer field.  Each competitor is given an egg, and no one may leave the circle under any circumstances.  The object is to crack your opponents' egg while leaving yours intact.  No punching is allowed, but besides that the only other rule is don't be a jerk.  Last year Owen Flygare won the first ever Eggball event and was thusly dubbed the "Eggman" until someone can defeat him.  Also, Aaron Fix did not get a single point in Eggball last year, so I'm hoping to make up some ground on him in this event in '09 (I also went scoreless in Eggball last year.) 

Eggball is a difficult sport to train for by oneself.  After the sun had set and the full moon was up, I took an egg out of my refrigerator and promised myself not to let it go until I had been outside for the entire 52 minute, 23 second IRONMAN TRAINING playlist that I created for my workout.  Oh yeah, I received some negative feedback on my choice of music for my first workout.  I thought about it and decided to cut the Atmosphere song, but the Ryan Adams song stays.  I also added "See You Again," by Miley Cyrus and "I Want You Back" by the Jackson 5, along with several others, bulking my playlist up to 15 songs.  I noticed a theme throughout my workout that a lot of the songs I picked are about being separated from something or someone you care about.  Whew... I may as well get this out now.

I am smitten.  I spent some time with someone that felt special, more special than any other time I've spent with someone else in recent memory.  I didn't have as much time with her as I wanted, but in the days that followed our separation, I found myself reliving the adventures and time we shared together.  But she's gone now, and she's with someone else, which is fine.  It is.  It has to be.  I knew what we had couldn't last forever; how could it?  I've talked my friends' ears off about her already and I know I should stop but I can't.  She's beautiful, she brightens any room that she's in, and in my arms she just fits.  But not as well as she fit on my mantel.  That trophy, the IRONMAN Trophy lies with Aaron now, and I have to accept it.  

"Ooh, baby give me one more chance..."

I will prove my worth to her in the IRONMAN.  What else can I do?

Train to win Eggball is a start.  With the egg clenched delicately between my right thumb, middle and ring fingers, I trotted down the sidewalk beneath the orange glow of the streetlamps until I got to the basketball court.  I walked to the baseline, and did what I swore I would never do again: ran killers.  Killers are where you start at the baseline of a basketball court, sprint to the free throw line and back, then to the three point line and back, followed by the mid-court line, then the three and free throw lines on the other half of the court, concluding with a sprint to the other baseline and back.  To make the training more egg oriented, I made myself touch the fore-finger of the hand holding the egg to each line as I reached it.  With the egg intact and the ice cream fighting its way back up my throat I jogged a half lap until I got to my old sledding hill.

I set down my camera, clipped my iPod onto my pants, and rolled down the hill.  I held the egg outstretched from my body in a straight line from my head and about five inches above the ground.  I had a hard time keeping the egg from touching the ground the faster I rolled, but the bottom of the hill arrived just in time.  I jumped to my feet and with the trees spinning in front of me, sprinted back up the hill to collect my camera. 

I then walked down the block towards my next destination when I saw three neighbors sitting on their front steps, enjoying the cool of the evening.  They had a little Collie that looked just like Lassie, except this dog's name is Buddy.  Buddy stuck his tail out like a rod from its back and did not take his eyes off of me as he ran down the stairs to examine me.  "Say hello to the man, Buddy," Buddy's presumed owner called at him.  I held out my hand for Buddy to smell.  Buddy must not likes raw eggs because he started chomping at my pants leg.  "Sir, your dog is nipping at me!" I called to the man.  "Buddy, get over here.  Bad dog, Buddy, bad dog," Buddy's owner said with a slight uptick in his voice at the end, like the intonation a parent makes when he or she knows their scold is falling upon deaf ears.  Fortunately Buddy retreated and allowed me to continue my egg workout. 

I walked for awhile longer, saw a dog much larger than Buddy sizing me up from across the street, walked away from the dog, and eventually ended up at a small field.  I started rolling my egg across the ground with the goal of picking it up before it stopped moving.  I repeated this exercise until I was pleasantly winded, collected my egg and continued on my way. 

My playlist almost over, I walked to a well lit area and smashed my egg on a sewer grate as a warning to Owen that his days as the Eggman are numbered.  I tried to scrawl a "VII" into the yolk, but yolk is very difficult to mold into symbols, so I took a picture of the mess and pushed as much of it into the sewer as I could.  Is it illegal to put a smashed egg into a sewer?  I hope not.  I'm going to have a very hard time training for the IRONMAN if I'm in prison.

The IRONMAN.  Few participate, fewer go on to win.  For those of you who have never participated in the IRONMAN, or spent any amount of time with me within two months before or after IRONMAN season, I have for you, The IRONMAN for Dummies:

What is the IRONMAN?  The IRONMAN is an annual event that has pitted anywhere between four and ten competitors since its inception in the summer of 2003.  Throughout a single day, the competitors face off in a series of seven events.  Last year the events were (in order) Beach Volleyball, Basketball, Football, Ultimate Frisbee, Eggball, Obstacle Course, and Roofball.  Of the seven events, only Basketball, the Obstacle Course and Roofball have been a part of the IRONMAN every year.  Each athlete can accrue as few as zero and as many as three points per event, and the competitor with the most points in all at the end of the day is the IRONMAN for the next 365 days, and is awarded a trophy and unimaginable bragging rights along with it.

Who is the IRONMAN?  Nick Punto.  As I forced myself out of bed a full hour earlier than usual for my first workout, the image of his sunburned arms hoisting the trophy above his head is what drove me to keep running. 

Where is the IRONMAN?  Merriam Park was the main host for the first five years, though various basketball courts and fields in Saint Paul have been utilized over the years.  The event now takes place at The Farm. 

When is the IRONMAN?  We, uh... we don't know.  Probably in July.  Definitely in the summer.

Why is the... why isn't this grammatically correct?  Why is the IRONMAN?  Does there need to be a why?  Can I answer a question with a question?  If I must, the IRONMAN started as a sacred day of the year when a group of friends got together and devoted themselves to nothing but sports from sun-up to sun-down... and has become, to quote IRONMAN I and VI, Nick Punto, "The single most important day of the year."  I know very little about my plans for this summer, but I do know that those plans will be molded around the IRONMAN. It is long, it is grueling, it is smelly, and there is a chance of salmonella poisoning, but above all else, it is glorious.

I am on a quest to win IRONMAN VII.  Today I declare my candidacy to take the throne as the next IRONMAN.  After a long, long, Minnesota winter during which most of my exercise came through walking backwards and walking through snow with a sled over my shoulder, I am dreadfully out of shape.  Conditioning is essential for any serious IRONMAN contender and what better way to improve one's conditioning than by jogging? 

I woke up at 7:10am.  My jogging clothes were laid out on my bedroom floor for me.  I groggily stepped into them, created a mini playlist on my iPod (a quality work out mix is CRUCIAL for IRONMAN exercising; mine included "Magick" by Ryan Adams and "You" by Atmosphere) laced up my running shoes and took off for two laps around the nearby park.  The park is an oval in shape and is approximately .85 miles/lap.  It includes my school, two playgrounds and up until the thaw, several ice rinks.  I started off fired up, ready to run, and midway through the first lap started fighting the urge to slow it down to a power walk.  My hamstrings were sore from spending spring break walking around D.C. and my stomach was grumbling from my lack of breakfast and incredible amounts of happy hour food that I consumed throughout said spring break.  Lap two is when I broke into a sweat beneath my sweatshirt and ski cap, despite the 30 degree temperatures of the Minnesota morning.  I was =w=eezing by the time I hit the ice rinks and had to spit continuously during the last half mile.  It was disgusting; it is nothing compared to what the first event in July will be like.  I trotted up the hill to me apartment complex and collapsed on the ground.  I almost fell back asleep but I pulled myself together enough to do some stretches and sit ups.  I went inside, showered, choked down some breakfast and went to work. I walked to work today.

I will mix in various conditioning routines during my training, but most exercises will be catered towards specific events.  As always, I am open to innovative suggestions about ways I can get myself ready to bring down Nick Punto and become IRONMAN VII.  Nick, if you aren't intimidated now, get ready to be intimidated in the nearish future.

Day 19

By Zack Eustis

Like we did every day for four years in high school, today my Mother drove me to school. Six inches of snow did not deter my Mom from taking a detour from her own morning commute and swinging by my apartment. We drove the two half blocks to the student drop off area that I've walked past every day this month, she handed me my lunch, and I was on my way. I'd hoped it would be a fitting end to the challenge, and it most certainly was. Thanks Mom!
Loyal readers, thank you for helping to make this month so enjoyable. The creativity that rolled in on the waves of suggestions from everyone was astounding. I am sad to see the challenge end, but something is in the works for the blog to continue on in a different way in the weeks ahead. Special thanks to Mark Baumer for hosting my blog on everydayyeah and for acting as editor throughout this month of February, and to Adam for helping me cook up this idea in the first place. Thanks for a great month!

Quote of the day:

(Kindergartner) "What's your last name?"

(Me) "Eustis"

(Kindergartner) "Useless?"

(Me) "Eustis"

(Kindergartner) "...welll, I don't think I can say that. I'll just call you useless."

(Me) "Call me Zack."

Day 18

By Zack Eustis

Last night I created two sock puppets, "Stretchy" (pictured) and "Sharpie" (not pictured) for today's commute. The two held a lively conversation with each other and, when the situation presented itself, several students. One boy dropped his mitten while he was getting dropped off and Sharpie was kind enough to let him know where it was. The boy's mother, unable to see my employee ID badge, was far from amused. The puppets continued their banter about the changing weather, impending snow storm, and options for lunch, stopping to greet fellow commuters along the way. The puppets stayed on during the first part of bus duty. Reactions ranged from unabriged excitement, including one "that's awesome," from a fifth grader, to looks of utter disgust by kids as young as five. Who knew?

One of my students was sounding out the word "garbage" today. He figured out the "gar" part, so I tried sounding out "bage." Apparently the way I pronounce the last half of garbage is the same way a lot of people say the word "bitch," because I could not get him to concentrate for the rest of the morning.

This is a link to the most amazing news story I've heard in years.

Tomorrow, the grand finale... stay tuned, it will be a surprise :).

Day 17

by Zack Eustis

Today I decided to do the unthinkable: I drove myself to work.  Leaving with but one minute to spare, watch my video log to see the dramatic conclusion of my seventeenth different commute to work this month.

Only two days are left and suggestions have been pouring in.  Friday is spoken for, but for tomorrow (Thursday's) challenge, I will post three options (a makeshift poll, if you will) on my facebook account and whichever idea receives the most support by the time I wake up tomorrow will be the way I get to work on Day 18.  Please, make like November 4th and VOTE!

I'm honored to announce that this blog has been getting some press throughout the midwest. My fear former roommie, Lizzie, gave it a shout out in her blog this past week. Lizzie is not only a hilarious, wonderful roomate, but she is also a very talented artist. Please check out her blog at the following link.

Day16

by Zack Eustis

A big thank you to Ned for making today possible. Ned, my friend and freshman year rommate from college, currently resides in New Orleans and was kind enough to mail me several packs of Mardi Gras beads for the sole purpose of the Fat Tuesday commute. Truly amazing. Armed with armfuls of colorful beads, I set out along my usual path this morning. I passed out beads exclusively to students, ignoring the tag on the package that stated "for ages 14 and above." Have we reached the point where we can no longer trust sixth graders to handle beads in such a way that won't result in choking? Is that where we are now as a society? The crowd was not as large as I had hoped, but I did see the beads around the necks of various students as I went about my day today. Also Charlie Brown got some bead love today, as depicted in the photo. Only three days left on the challenge! Make sure to get any last minute suggestions in ASAP! And again, thank you Ned Brown.

Day15

by Zack Eustis

A fresh weekend snowfall paved the way for my long anticipated horseless sleigh ride to work this morning. My apartment is in an old house on top of a hill overlooking the school. My backyard is a hill covered in wiry old trees and bushes with a staircase in the middle. The staircase leads down the hill and almost directly into the street. My plan was to sled down this snow covered staircase, across the street, and onto school property. Unfortunately I was unable to keep parents from dropping off their kids this morning, and as that street is the drop off zone, I was S.O.L. Not wanting to waste a possible once in a lifetime chance to sled to my job, I instead chose to ride down a hill that goes from a perpendicular sidewalk to the school. The results have been caught by an amateur film maker and are available for viewing above or at this connecting link. After cruising merrily down the hill I proudly strolled through the halls of my school with my blue plastic sled getting curious looks from some students, and normal "good-mornings" from others. Perhaps I am not the first person that has sledded to their school before. One faculty member saw me and jokingly said, "I see you're getting to work in a new way today." How very, very right she was.

Day14

by Zack Eustis

Today, I frog hopped to work. To illustrate my hopping, I will present you with a trio of haikus.

1.)
So do frogs have knees?

Mine felt very sore today.

I guess they do not.

2.)
I saw a large fly.

I wanted to eat the fly.

Taking this too far?

3.)
Today, frog hopping

Ribbit, ribbit, I did go.

Tomorrow, sledding?

Day 13

by Zack Eustis

Today I pulled the proverbial Ace out of my back pocket as the contrast between the warm steam of my shower and the cold draft from my bedroom and kitchen window enticed me to stay entranced in my luxury of heat five minutes longer than I had planned. After toweling off I glanced at my phone to see I had exactly five minutes to brush my teeth, put on my clothes and commute to work. After losing myslef in my tooth brushing for another minute, I tossed on my shirt, socks, boxers, pants and sweater (in that order); grabbed my keys, threw on my jacket, stepped into my loafers and began a breath taking sprint to school. I hesitated at the top of my stairs, calculating if it would save more time to go back inside and lace up my tennis shoes, before sticking with the loafers and jettisoning myself out the door. The icy patch on the sidewalk that plagued my day one adventures nearly made a triumphant return, though this time I stumbled into a nearby snowbank before righting myself back to the sidewalk. I yelled "good morning" over my shoulder to the student traffic patrollers as I bolted across the street and down the hill to the school's playground. As I crossed the finish line that was the front steps of the school I whipped out my phone to see I was but a single minute late to work. The picture ( I swear I did my best) is what it is, and I think summarizes my day thirteen commute better than I can in prose.

Only six days left! Ideas have been steadily coming in but I'm always interested to hear more!

Day 12

by Zack Eustis

I wanted to sled today but the flakes did not keep falling last night like I hoped they would. While sledding has been deferred to another day, I loosened up my vocal chords this morning by singing "Marry Me" by the Drive By Truckers on the way to work. If you don't know it, please, download it immediately. Your experience with the awesomeness that is this song should not be limited to my music-less karaoke version. The trip itself was very enjoyable, though as you'll see in the video I started losing my breath near the end of the second verse.

Here is an interchange between two kindergartners that I overheard this morning:

Boy kindergartner said, "I have two girlfriends. Two. You are one of them and (Susie) is the other."

Girl Kindergartner: "What?!"

*

After school today I went to the corner store to buy some ketchup. A lady stepped into line at the same time as me and we had the awkward interchange of deciding who would go first. I let her go ahead. She didn't immediately acknowledge it. She paid for her things and walked out the door without so much as a head nod. When I got to the counter the cashier told me she'd already paid for my ketchup. I walked out of the store and watched her get behind the wheel of the city bus she was driving and waved at her until she finally saw me and waved back. It was just a bottle of ketchup, which I presumably got for being moderately polite, but I feel a lot better about the world than I did before I walked into the convenience store.

Day 11

by Zack Eustis

No, gentle readers, I did not skip school today. I skipped TO school and picked a day that felt more like October than February to do it. I took extra care to wedge my lunch into my backpack so I wouldn't end up with a rice pudding and applesauce sandwich come 12:20. I laced up my tennis shoes (who would skip to school in anything else?) and bolted into the morning sunshine. As I leaped from one foot to the other and watched the tiles of sidewalk fly past me like yellow lanes on the freeway, I reflected that skipping is far a more efficient commute than walking backwards OR playing frisbee golf. As I approached the street a car decided to roll through a stop sign on the other side of the road. I stared the driver down without braking stride and he was forced to watch as I skipped gallantly in front of him. Parading down the hill, I was faced with the most substantial early morning student population yet. We exchanged greetings as I skipped beside them and tipped my cap to the nice young lady holding the door. The day was ready to begin.

The picture: I swear is of me skipping. I took three or four shots along the way but this was the only one that ended up with my face in it.

And as I sign off on the first day of Week 3, I feel like a child on Christmas Eve as I watch snowflakes dot the darkness of my driveway. The dream of sledding may finally become a reality.

Day 10

by Zack Eustis

Hee hee, this was awesome. I had left over batteries in my boombox from wiffleball season that enabled me to rock out to work in style today. I have been unable to burn CDs for awhile so I couldn't play Pink Floyd's "Money" or MC Hammer, which had been brilliant suggested by Ned and Maggie respectively. After deliberating between the Drive By Truckers, Fountains of Wayne and Weezer, I decided "My Name is Jonas" would get me fired up and ready to teach the most. I slipped in the Blue Album, locked up my apartment, and with my boombox resting comfortably on my shoulder, hit play. I had the stereo facing my ear so while I had the volume turned up as loud as I could tolerate it, I'm not sure how far the sound was carrying. Throughout the month I've gotten some strange looks and befuddled reactions, but today was the first day when people seemed uncomfortable even looking at me. When did carrying a boombox on your shoulder to work go out of style? Oh well. By the time I got to school my ears were ringing, my arm was exhausted from holding the boombox and my throat was soar from singing. I was so pumped up that I even boomboxed my way home this afternoon to bookend an excellent day.

Daily "That's What She Said" (TWSS): Again, doesn't really qualify but I overheard a fourth grader singing "I kissed a girl" today.

Day 9

by Zack Eustis

Thursday was a brisk, cloudy morning for biking. I've kept my bike locked on the non-enclosed front porch of my apartment all winter, which left the lock freezing cold, but the tires surprisingly inflated. I strapped on my helmet and decided to carry the bike down the stairs rather than ride it, which was definitely a good decision. After a warm stretch that included some rain, the melted snow has turned to ice and as I did not spring for snow tires for my bike (or car) this winter, I was sure to be cautious going over the slick white patches. The worst place for ice was at this dip in the pavement before the sidewalk merges with the street by the curb. A small crack in the ice turned quickly into a crevase, causing me to jerk the wheel to keep the bike out harm's way. Once I crossed the street I coasted down the small hill that leads to the playground in front of my school's entrance. I searched breifly for a place to park and was relieved to find a bike stand a mere stone's throw from the front door. I locked the bike up, brought my helmet inside and began my day.

My student who believes my last name to be "Useless" and I have agreed that she can just call me Zack. Math class has been much easier since then for both of us.

Daily "That's What She Said" (TWSS): (Note, this is not a that's what she said, but it needs to be shared.) Instructor to students who are holding rhythm sticks (i.e. 'babies') said: "Should we be hitting our babies? OR should we be putting them to bed?"

Day Eight

by Zack Eustis

With the cold officially shaken from my system, I returned to the streets of Saint Paul to juggle my way to work today. A few Christmases ago my parents gave me a set of four sports related balls for juggling. There is a baseball, a basketball, and two soccer balls. I picked my favorite of the two soccer balls, grabbed the other two... (this is getting harder to write with a straight face) and pranced giddily (wc?) out the door. I started juggling pretty damn well (if I say so myself) until I got to the intersection. After a safety break to look both ways, I resumed juggling without incident as I crossed the street. I ran into trouble when a street sign got in my way and even more trouble when I tried to turn left and lost my balance. I tossed one of the balls up high in the air to buy myself some time, ran to catch it and released the next one as high as I could toss it, only to have it land just inches out of my grasp. After I regained my composure, I picked the ball back up and let it rejoin its friends as the sun broke gently through the clouds on our early morning circus routine. I let one more hit the ground before I reached the door, by accident I can assure you.
No balls were harmed in the making of this commute.
"That's What She Said" (TWSS) comment for the day: "It's okay, you just have to blow on it!"

Day 7

by Zack Eustis

The title says it all. I was home sick today, under the weather, not feeling my best, not up to snuff, I've felt better, had better days... you get the picture. I discovered while watching "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" that my recording from yesterday was actually saved so for your viewing pleasure, here it is:

Day Six

by Zack Eustis

There is no shame in trying something you are 95% sure you cannot accomplish. I've lived by this motto, at times to a fault, but I still believe in the attitude behind it. I did not expect to hold my breath for the full minute and forty-five seconds it takes to get from my door step to the front entrance of my school. I did expect to make it more than halfway there before nearly passing out. Maybe it was the change in weather, maybe it was the giant bowl of almond flakes I ate for breakfast, or maybe I choked under pressure. Whatever the reason, I was left gasping for air before even fifty seconds had expired on my timer. I tried videotaping the morning commute but accidentally turned my camera off when I tried to hit save [edit: later he realized he hadn't deleted the video.  See below for video], so there is no photo or video documentation for this morning. Despite the embarassment that was my trip to work on February 9th, 2009, I remain undeterred in my quest to cover the month by bus, by sled, or any other conceivable means of transportation. See you tomorrow.

by Zack Eustis

Day 5

I picked the warmest morning of the winter to snow shoe to work. I didn't do this on purpose but when you're handed a pair of snow shoes from your mother, dammit you wear them to work as soon as possible. The snow shoes were more difficult to fasten then I figured they would be so I latched up the two straps that go over the front of my feet and left the heel strap unfastened. One shoe briefly fell off, but besides that my walk was unhindered by the strap issue. All of the snow and ice is pretty much gone from the sidewalks now, so I took to the boulevard for the first section of my journey. The patrollers were not in their usual place, as they were posing across the street for a photo op for one of their Mom's. We shouted "hello!" to each other but that was our only interaction. The shoes allowed me to navigate down a slope that I usually can't take because of the depth of the snow, which made up for a couple of the minutes I lost because of how long it takes to walk in snow shoes. I walked in the snow shoes until I made it to the gravel entrance, and not wanting to destroy my mother's snow shoes, I took off the snow shoes and put them in a safe snow show hiding place in the school. Today set the record for most questions I've been asked about my commute but I guess carrying a pair of snow shoes into an elementary school will do that.

There were no "that's what she said's" today (of course once I start documenting them they stop happening) but I did finally break down and tell one of my co-workers about the challenge (I was late for bus duty this morning and felt she deserved an explanation.) I still haven't asked anyone about car pooling but that will be my goal for next week. Thanks for all of the great suggestions and make sure to check back in next week for day 6!

by Zack Eustis

Day Four

I have worked at the same summer camp for the past five years. The camp happens to be very near my school so it seemed only natural when my camp boss gave me a stack of information cards about the summer to make them available to anyone I saw on my way to school. The safety patrollers now wait for me to walk out of my house and watch everything I do until I reach their side of the street. The warm temperatures had me practically skipping to school this morning. After gliding down the sidewalk, I greeted the patrollers and handed them each an information card. I then recognized one of the 6th graders as a former camper which was exciting for both of us. I wished the patrollers a good day and moved on to the parents. I knocked on a couple of car windows, introduced myself, and explained why sending their kids to camp this summer would be a wonderful idea. I then hit the parked cars and pamphleted the windshields leaving me just enough time to dash into school on time. The school has now agreed to send home a camp information card to each of our 475 students this Friday, so camp should be rockin even more than usual this summer.

Daily "That's What She Said" (TWSS): "That was quick." (An oldie but a goodie)

Tomorrow: My Mom is letting me borrow her snow shoes. Yes.

Random note: Last night I had four distinct dreams. Four. None of them woke me up, but all of them I remembered this morning. Fingers crossed that tonight will be that entertaining.

by Zack Eustis

Day Three

I decided not to pack a lunch today. I made burritos last night that I was planning on eating today, but the odds of my wrap job staying closed while leaping over the rope seemed too low to risk it. What I did not expect was the jump rope that I borrowed from school to actually be made for school-aged children, which gave me an additional challenge this morning. I started off on my sidewalk with my back hunched and knees bent which allowed the rope to clear the top of my hood. Things were going so well I decided I could make it the whole way without stopping. The awkward position of my jumping, however, left my thighs burning after the first half block so I tried straightening up only to have the rope crash into my neck. Undeterred, I started up again as I crossed the street. The student walk patrollers were back this morning (the temperature was minus 7 but there was no wind chill so they had to stay out) and watched my leaps while looking perplexed with a hint of a smirk. I said "good morning" and bounded past the drop off area. By this point I was so tired that I had to stand upright again, which was the second time the rope hit me. Once I made it down a small hill I was home free to the wide open pavement that led to the front entrance of the school. I decided to sprint-jump rope the rest of the way there to get it over with as fast as possible. I walked in the front entrance gasping for air and was greeted by our principal who was concerned that my bright red cheeks had been stung too hard by the cold morning air. I did not provide an alternative explanation.
I have yet to tell anyone at school about my challenge. Eventually I will need to ask someone to pick me up on car pool day, but that probably won't be until next week.

I've received some excellent suggestions, most notably commuting with a stereo on my shoulder (perhaps rocking out to Pink Floyd or MC Hammer. thank you Maggie and Ned), holding my breath the entire way, and walking with my eyes closed (thank you Aaron.) Keep the ideas coming; so far they have been brilliant.

There actually wasn't a stand out "That's What She Said" from today, but in place of TWSS, I'll leave you with this: One of my students, in all earnestness, believed my name was Mr. Useless until last Friday when she said it in front of her entire class (I've lost them forever.) Her teacher practiced it with her and today she introduced me to her buddy from another school as Mrs. Eustis.

by Zack Eustis

Day Two

Surprisingly, walking backwards was far less hazardous on my health than frolfing my way to work had been on day one. The temperature today was minus 6 degrees with a windchill of minus 21 which allowed the student bus patrollers to stay inside rather than on the corner, meaning I was fending for myself when I crossed the street. The most challenging obstacles I faced were those damn patches of ice, both curbs on the street, the downhill slope that goes past the student drop off area/the slightly less friendly parents, and finally the stairs leading up to the school. By the time I got there my legs were exhausted and using the railing to get up to the door was necessary. A third grader was kind enough to hold the door for me but seemed to be looking for my employee ID badge at the same time. I was very surprised at how many times my body would start to turn back around, trying to walk forwards. I actually had to force myself to stay on my backwards path and not give in to the temptation of walking the same way I have for twenty five and a half years (minus a few rare moments including the time I ran out to recess backwards and slipped on the sand when I was ten, and when they forced us to run backwards as training for baseball). The rest of the day was a pretty standard six and a half hours, highlighted by the gym teacher lending me a jump rope overnight, solidifying my day 3 method of commuting.

There are countless chances for "That's what she said" jokes in an average school day that for professional reasons are in my best interest to keep to myself. That said, I will be adding a daily TWSS to my daily posts. Here is one from yesterday:

Teacher (speaking to kindergartners): "Remember, we aren't doing it as partners anymore. You're doing it all by yourself."

Photo: Is of me struggling to keep my balance. The school is visible in the upper left hand corner.

by Zack Eustis

Introduction

I have been challenged to commute to work in a different way every day (yeah!) for the entire month of February.  I work at an elementary school that is a half block away from my apartment, making the challenge not unpossible.  The rules are simple: I can go to work in any way I see fit, but I cannot use the same method more than once for the entire month.  I am taking suggestions so don't hesitate to comment with your ideas.  Here are some good ones to get you started:  sledding, jumping rope, crab-walking, skiing, driving, car pooling, finding a bus that goes to my school and traveling to it so it can drop me off, etc.  If you post an idea that I end up using, you will receive credit for it in my blog.  Also, I am keeping a blog.  Every day I will recount my journey to school so check back frequently.

Day One

I packed up my lunch, put on my coat, strapped on my backpack and walked out the door with my trusty Soft-in-the-Middle disc in hand.  The morning was substantially colder than the morning before, but I plowed on undeterred.  I looked down my sidewalk in the direction of the school, pulled the disc back in a forehand grip, stepped on a patch of ice and fell on my ass.  I got rid of the frisbee before landing (1 stroke).

The disc is white which made searching for it in my yard, tree, lawn, and street extremely difficult.  Fortunately three students working bus patrol saw the whole thing and kindly pointed out that my frisbee had landed in the middle of the road.  I watched in horror as a truck approached, but miraculously missed my beloved piece of plastic.  After brushing it off I picked it up and threw it past the attentive students who asked me if I was planning on going inside of the school.  I walked down the small hill where my frisbee landed and tossed it down the side street where the other students were being dropped off (2 strokes).  By now I could see the Charlie Brown statue that I was aiming for and took an ill advised shot missing badly to the left (3 strokes).  I waived good morning to some parents and trotted down the slope and tossed the disk mere feet away from Charlie Brown (4 strokes).  The next was a gimmie as I closed the morning out one over par (5 strokes).  Charlie was so excited that he got to be involved in my first day of this adventure that he agreed to pose for a picture holding the frisbee.  Here are my stats for day one:
Strokes: 5
Falls: 1
Students talked to: 3
Parents talked to: 0
Minutes late to work: 4

Check back tomorrow for a stat update on day two: walking backwards.

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Zack Eustis was Ironman II and sometimes sleeps.