Magic by Bruce Springsteen reviewed by Ezra Pendragon The Boss has been riding my ass since last week. Not my boss, The Boss: Bruce fucking Springsteen. He might have been "Born in the USA," and he might be a veritable dream-boat, but he better have also been "Born to Run," because I'm fixing to put my foot up the ass of this washed-up Grammy-whore* after listening to his latest album, Magic, released October 2. Stinksteen's probable desire to abuse his influence of American minds during the 2004 presidential election and "Vote for Change" music tour (of which he and his PEE Street Band were crucial performers) has been cast aside in order to present eager listeners with Magic's 12 tracks of pseudo-sentimental drivel. The reliance on cliche in these songs calls into question the authenticity of his other work, including his critically acclaimed 9/11 album. What happened to the man who curled my toes with his emotion-filled love-songs? I'll tell you what happened. The bastard needs money. Springstink has certainly been around long enough to figure out how to make bank, and that's pretty much the sole purpose for which this plastic trash was made. Brucy-Bruce forfeited significant creative control to producer Brendan O'Brien, allowing him to choose the songs that fit best on the album. According to Shitsteen, the band recorded over several months (barely ever as a single unit), often overdubbing individual tracks at a member's earliest convenience. Like many other commercially successful pop-rock artists**, Bruce Springsteen has shamelessly and repeatedly exploited the fears and concerns of the American people (and people from all over the world) first with The Rising, then with the "Vote for Change Tour." Now he's trying to do it again, needling our culture's collective fear of aging and death. In this album the listener is introduced to an old, wrinkly, cook-book pop artist who's simply "going through the motions." Perhaps the only compliment I can offer Springstupidsteen or this crappy album is that He looks hot on the cover. Don't let The Boss' chiseled pectorals entice you into buying this, or picking it up for any reason other than to smash it. I, for one, feel like I've been proverbially screwed in the proverbial ass by Springsteen's Magic. *In order to meet the October 1 Grammy consideration deadline, Springsteen released a vinyl LP of Magic a few days before the album's actual release date of October 2. ** i.e. U2 and their "Free Tibet" bull shit, Coldplay's Chris Martin with his "Make Trade Fair" mummy-hand, The Beatles and all of their shenanigans, and Phil Collins' soundtrack to the Disney film Tarzan.