EDY:What is the Ironman exactly and what does it mean to you?
ZACH EUSTIS (IRONMAN III): The IRONMAN was originally conceived to be a day set aside from the rigors of our adult lives, where we could play sports all day like we were kids again, and has turned into the single most physically and emotionally grueling 24 hours out of a normal calendar year. The IRONMAN means having sand in your underwear for 11 hours because you dove too hard during beach volleyball. The IRONMAN means being so winded after basketball that you can't comprehend competing in another event, let only five. The IRONMAN means playing that extra game of caged dodgeball just for the hell of it, even after all the points have been handed out. The IRONMAN means finishing your tennis match no matter how much hail or lighting surrounds the court. The IRONMAN means running so hard during football that your feet are bruised for a month. The IRONMAN means finishing the goddamn slide portion of the obstacle course no matter how tries it takes. The IRONMAN means making more than two out of ten free throws in the tie-breaker at the end of the day. The IRONMAN means eating a burrito and arguing for two hours over what the mystery event should be. The IRONMAN means wanting to win roofball so badly that the other competitors start to question if you're taking it too far. The IRONMAN is giving it your all, win or lose, and still piling into the Swiftboat at the end of the day with seven of the best people on earth, and screaming 80's rock songs at the top of your lungs, no matter how dirty, stinky or bloody you may be.
The IRONMAN is waking up the next morning, unable to move, and beginning the countdown until the next one.

Beautiful, I have tears in my eyes...talk about something amongst yourself, maybe about the last time you cried or the last time you saw your father cry.

The last time I cried... well that's tough. I didn't take my defeat in roofball particularly well last year, but I don't remember shedding actual tears over it. It was probably when I looked at the calendar a few weeks ago and realized we are less than six months (now five?!) [ed. Note: now one?] away from IRONMAN VI. Also, I got really mad at work today, but according to my supervisor, since I'm a guy I'm going to sequester myself away from everyone else and just be angry for awhile. That almost made me cry.

Talk a little about IRONMAN II, specifically how you ended up in a tiebreaker and what the end results were?

Going into the final event, Roofball, of IRONMAN II (at the time the IRONMAN was a four person extravaganza) Adam had 11 points to my 10. Adam defeated Alex in a tightly contested semifinal while I defeated an injured Aaron, and then I beat Adam in the Roofball finals, giving me three points for the event and Adam two, thus tying our overall scores at 13 apiece. It was decided that the tie-breaker should be something we were on somewhat equal footing at, so we chose free-throws. Our regular Merriam Park court was taken so we went to the Groveland court, which had some of the strongest rims I've ever seen. Adam and I waged a war of futility that saw him make three out of ten free throws to my two, thus granting him the deciding point and the glory that is the IRONMAN. I reacted poorly, attempting to run off with the trophy, which was unfortunately all caught on tape. If you ask Adam maybe he could send you some clips that you could post along with the interviews.

Talk about your reaction to being named captain of your IRONMAN team that first year and the enjoyment you've had the past five years of wielding that title for your team?

The two sweetest words in the English language: Default. Naturally I was thrilled. The peak of my captainship was winning IRONMAN III. There are a lot of other fond memories too, such as pairing with Mark's team and sweeping volleyball to open IRONMAN IV. The lows have been there too, such as the conclusion to IRONMAN II, the yearly embarrassment that is the obstacle course, and the time I couldn't finish my burrito.

How was your love life after becoming Ironman III?

It was pretty hard to pay attention to women while having the IRONMAN trophy. There was one girl who did win me over, but it fizzled. She wasn't over her ex-boyfriend and I spent more time with the trophy than she was comfortable with.

What's the deal with ex-boyfriends? Seriously, there's such a negative stigma associated with them. I usually kill all my ex girlfriends so I don't have to worry about anyone calling me the ex-boyfriend...hmmmm
I guess I should probably keep this about IRONMAN...would you agree with the sentiment that everyone who competes in the IRONMAN is a misogynist?

While I won't go on record calling everyone who competes in the IRONMAN a misogynist, I will say that there is a far greater likelihood of the color barrier being broken before the gender barrier. To quote the IRONMAN I champ: "It's not called the ironWOMAN."

So we've covered tears, women, free-throws, sleeping arrangements with and without the trophy, and obstacle course slides.
Let's talk a little about your time in China and how they contributed to your IRONMAN abilities. Maybe even speak about the black and blue mark on your chest when you returned from China.

I've gotta say, competing in the IRONMAN three days after flying back from China is not a recipe for success. I did a LOT of walking in China, and as a walkathon has not yet been added to the IRONMAN events, it didn't benefit me very much. I did get some basketball practice in, as basketball is bigger than bigfoot over there, but that's about it. As per the black and blue mark, it was a going away present that managed to last almost as long as that relationship did.

Please recap your weekend...

Glorious. There was t-shirt selling, sandwich eating, Superbad watching, pink sock buying, Settling, basketball, wiffleball, the balance game on the T, video-taped sleeping, man-snuggling, Trader Joe's, and last but CERTAINLY not least, Three Guys and a Bench.

IRONMAN CHAMPIONS I,III,IV

Hustling

Three Guys on a Bench (on a bus)

Three Guys on a Bench (in a car)