interview with mr. messinger

jonathan messinger

Jonathan Messinger writes books, reviews books, and makes books.
The above picture isn't an actual representation of Mr. Messinger.

Everyday Yeah: First, where do you get the time?
Jonathan Messinger:I don't sleep much. Or I do, but in isolated, long stretches, as if I were in a space pod.

EDY: Second, let me commend you on your book Hiding Out; it is the perfect size. It fits in the back pocket of my jeans.
JM: Thanks. Really, that's the best thing that can be said about it.

EDY: If you don't mind me asking, how is the engagement going? (Also, congratulations) How do you think your stories will change now that you're set to be married?
JM: Oh, thanks very much. Yeah, it's going well, we're ironing out the details, etc. It's an interesting experience, getting engaged. When she said yes, it was like a switch went off in my brain, and I suddenly have such a huge desire to stop being such a self-centered bastard. For instance, I haven't been to a doctor in, probably, five years or more, and now I'm saying to myself, "OK, your life is now, officially, undeniably, larger than yourself, and not in a vague, once-a-year-donation-to-NPR kind of way."
So everything that happens in my life changes the way I write, or what I write about. I'm hesitant to say that I have a "deeper" understanding of relationships now, but I definitely have a better sense of the stakes.

EDY: Your stories all seem to end in a kind of disheartened, unfulfilled sentiment where the characters never get what they want. Where does that come from? Is it from your own personal feelings? One thing I thought was interesting is that the story, "One Valve Opens" was the one narrative that didn't have that emotion and the character was probably the furthest removed from your own character.
JM: Disheartened?! Nah. I like to think that even if they're disheartened, by the end of the stories they've accepted some truth, or gained a fuller perspective of their predicaments, that even if they're down, they're now in a better position to go about their lives. Except for the guy about to be eaten by a wolf.
Good point about "One Valve Opens." This is an interesting question, about which characters are closest to me, and which ones are more distanced. In a lot of ways, it's easy to say Julius is because he's black and dealing with stuff I never had to deal with. But I think his mentality, his issues and his lazy problem solving skills are actually pretty similar to mine.

[note: After re-reading a handful of Mr. Messinger's stories I realize 'Disheartened' is the wrong word]

EDY: It's been said that you once had a dream about a cat fighting a dolphin, can you elaborate on this conflict?
JM: Oh man. That cat was scary. So was the dolphin, but the cat was hideous. That's all I want to say about that.

EDY: If you're wondering, coincidentally or not I just woke up from a nap where I had a dream that I was driving a limousine. I never thought they were that tough to drive. I definitely have more respect for limousine drivers now.
JM: You should. Anyone who spends the majority of their life behind a wheel deserves our sympathy and respect.

EDY: How disappointed are you when you walk into a dollar store and things are priced more than a dollar? JM: Have you ever been in line for a roller coaster for an afternoon and it breaks down just before you get on?


EDY: What's the usual plan of action when you find a hole in your sock?
JM: Stay the course.

Public Transportation Questions (these all came to me while riding the T):
EDY: I saw a girl on the train yesterday. She had on a red parka. The kind with fur around the hood which makes it look like she was going to Antarctica except that she was wearing clogs on her feet. My mother wore clogs a lot when I was young. What memories do you have of your mother's footwear?
JM: That's none of your business.

EDY: There's this man wearing Adidas shoes sitting to my right. The guy who just sat down next to me on the left is reading a book called Extreme Measures. There is a heartbeat line drawn at the top of the chapter heading. He has begun a new chapter, the first words are: "April 14th…" Anyway the guy on my right has a little face drawn on a white spot of the left Adidas shoe. I would talk more about this but I just realized I was wrong about the person to my left, the book reader. Looking at a reflection of them in the window across from me (It would be very awkward to actually turn to my left and stare at them) it seems I have mistaken their gender. They are female. My apologies…Originally I wanted to question you about drawings you may have made on your sneakers—band names, author names, aliens, etc.—when you were in middle school, but the person to my left really surprised me and I've lost my train of thought. Feel free to talk about whatever you like: drawing on sneakers, misjudged genders, a review of Extreme Measures… or anything else.
JM: When I Googled Extreme Measures, the first four entries were about a Hugh Grant movie, I think, then one about "
the University of Colorado's premier mixed a cappella group," another for Extreme Measures Sport Fishing, and then finally the book by Michael Palmer. Which got me to thinking, how do you suppose the other mixed a cappella groups at the University of Colorado feel about EM describing themselves as "the premier?" I'd like to read a book about that rivalry.

EDY: When I got off the train I went to sit in a Wendy's restaurant. I was waiting for a friend. I didn't get anything to eat. I don't enjoy fast food. At a perpendicular table a person said they had to go make gingerbread houses. I was tempted to run after them and ask if they would make me a gingerbread coffin which they could place me in and let me eat my way out. I think I could eat a whole gingerbread coffin depending on how thin the walls were. Are you much of an eater? Do you think you could pack away five pounds of food in an hour?
JM: I'm a big, fast eater, habits that I'm trying to break myself out of. Five pounds, no way. I'm vegetarian, so five pounds of vegetables is just going to be a lot of work.

EDY: The reason I ask is because there's this pizza eating challenge in St. Louis where two people have to eat a ten pound pizza in an hour and if they do it they get $500. I figured you might be a logical choice seeing that there are busses you can take from Chicago to St. Louis that only cost a dollar (mega bus). The more I think about this (you being the dollar guy) the more it makes sense.
JM: True, but Megabus's 1-dollar bus ride thing is full of all sorts of loopholes and hoodwinks, I don't think it's as easy as you'd like to believe to go from Chicago to St. Louis for $1. I actually love St. Louis, had a blast there in September doing the Dollar Store, playing some sort of washer-tossing game, etc. But I ate some St. Louis-style pizza from Imo's (the standard, but by no means the best, I'm told) that was miserable, so I can tell you firsthand that $500 to eat ten pounds of that is not worth it. Actually, $500 to destroy both your digestive system and your credibility is probably almost never worth it.

EDY: Can I get a sports prediction for 2008?
JM: The Celtics will be in the NBA Finals. I'm not willing to give them the championship yet, but I think they'll win the east.

EDY: Also, I was re-reading your blog and the comments you made during the Red Sox- Indians series. I thought your analysis of Manny Ramirez was right on target especially considering how the season ended:
"Tomorrow night, the Sox and Indians take it back to Fenway, and I have to say, this series has suddenly become a classic. There's all the intrigue surrounding Manny, which I always love. First it was the Manny arm-raise, that he celebrated after hitting a solo shot to put his team down by four. I'm cool with that. I do the exact same thing when Manny hits a solo shot to put his team down by four. Then there's his quote, about the Sox potentially losing the series: "There's always next year. It's not like it's the end of the world." As Soxaholix said, it's a healthy attitude for athletes. Let the fans wallow in do-or-die-ism. But I think more than that, Manny is acknowledging that the Sox are now a dynasty. They've only won one championship, sure, but with Beckett the second coming and a healthy mix of young and old guys, the Sox should be the team to beat for the next few years. I like that kind of confidence."

Anyway, I'd have to say Manny—despite all the negatives—is one of the best personalities in the game and his home run reactions give me chills. Also, it was a treat/humorous to hear him open it up to the media at the end of the year. Did you catch him on Leno? Look up the video if you haven't.
JM: I wish Red Sox fans could stop being fans for a moment and be humans and just love the fact that Manny is on the team. Sox fans have this mania that makes them believe that if you're not Tim Naehring, breaking your back every other game in some exhibition of loosely defined "hustle," you shouldn't be in Boston (no disrespect to Timmy Naehring).
I now feel bad about any negative connotations toward Naehring. Let's say Scott Cooper, instead.
Oh, and Leno doesn't deserve to be in the same room as Manny.

This interview came to a sudden and unexpectant end. This can be blamed on the interviewer not setting up his questions correctly. A skilled interviewer would at the very least ask a question that would tie up the interview like, "How do you feel the moon landings effected corn crops in the Pacific Northwest?" or "Why do you think I have been having trouble chewing on the left side of my mouth?" or "When do you think I'm going to die?" My apologies.

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