EDY: I'm curious about your view on what's going on with the Supersonics right now. You've obviously been a fan for a long time and now it looks like they're moving. Feel free to rant as much as you want.

David Shields: Not too interested in this topic, I must admit. I just don’t follow sports anymore, Mark.

EDY: No problem. If you don't mind, can I ask why? If you do mind then could you maybe point me in the direction of a writing you did that explains your reasoning. If that doesn't exist and you still would rather not talk about it then maybe you could tell us how you spent your lazy Sunday (and if it wasn't lazy then I apologize)?

DS: Sunday: in airports. Sports: tapped out…

Mark, sorry my responses so brief. Just insanely busy. Your website is fun.

EDY: Completely understandable. I can imagine you've got a lot on your plate with the book and Washington. To help out, I'll just cluster a bunch of questions and you can spin through them as quick as need be.
I read somewhere that you always wear black, was this a passing trend, or a lifelong wardrobe choice?
DS: Passing trend.
EDY: Have you seen the movie Rocket Science? I thought of your book Dead Languages when I saw it. What did you think of it when you saw it, if you did?

DS: God-Awful.
EDY: The title of your new book reminds me of the Flaming Lips song, "Do you realize?" Particularly the lyrics, " Do You Realize - that everyone you know someday will die" Are you familiar with this song?
DS: Don't know it.
EDY: Are you surprised that your 50?
DS: Thrilled.
EDY: Was it a relief when you came to the conclusion that you, as an individual, in the grand scheme of things, don't matter?
DS: Yep.
EDY: Why do you think some people get so depressed by this notion?

DS: They hate their lives.

EDY You've got me interested in your movie tastes now. What's the last good movie you've seen?

DS: No country.

EDY: Best movie in the last ten years?

DS: Bright Leaves.
EDY: Most re-watchable movie in your opinion?

DS: Singing Detective.
EDY: Then again, you might not care about movies a whole lot? Last good book you've read?

DS: Vanishing Point.

EDY: Best new writer you've found?

DS: Markson.
EDY: Best writer you've ever taught?

DS: Coetzee
EDY: The book you've re-read the most?

DS: Speedboat.
EDY: Do you see movies and books moving closer to each other in form?

DS: si.
EDY: Thoughts on how MFA programs have changed since you got yours?

DS: Decline.

EDY: Someone said your new book is like "Tuesday without Morrie," with the schmaltz. Do you agree with this? Why does everyone hate being schmaltzy? Would you accept your book becoming a part of Oprah's book club?
or do you think people would get confused and think it was too schmaltzy? When is the last time you had a chicken with too much schmaltz? Should I be worried that the pinnacle of my brain is only a year away and that after that it's all downhill from there? Actually, I guess I know what you're going to say, basically it comes down to me being an individual and me not really mattering...instead, let's turn our attention to this pair of underwear I am wearing. They are filled with holes. They should have been thrown out years ago, but they remain in constant rotation, etc., etc. To be honest, I don't know where to go from here with the talk about my underwear. Not much will change. They will continue getting older and older. One day, they will be gone. This is your view. We've touched on it briefly. It is the premise of your new book which in a way has me wondering if there is a meaningful question I could ask you. Besides coming off like a dick, what stops you from answering every question with something along the lines of, "We're all going to be dead one day, my answer matters about as much as yours"?

DS: Schmaltz as unearned emotion, lies, syrup, falsity to sell books.

EDY: Are you ever going to make it to Boston?

DS: For the paperback.

EDY: Are there plans for a book of short stories?

DS: handbook for drowning was recently reissued.

EDY: It seems like you only put out a new short story every or so. Do you not care for the form?

DS: Plenty of short stories out there. Dozens. I can send you bibliography if you want.

EDY: How many pages was The Thing about life... originally?

DS: 487

EDY: Is it possible that you'll ever grind out an epic 1000 word novel?

DS: Not sure how many epic novels are 1000 words.

EDY: Do you have a stack of unpublished manuscripts you're sitting on?

DS: 2 books coming out in next 2 years.

EDY:Do you ever catch yourself wishing you had done things differently with your life?

DS: no.

EDY: Do you think college has become something of a joke?

DS: no.

EDY: When you go to the gym are you a treadmill or exercise bike type of guy or do you prefer something odd like rollerblading?

DS: Swimming.

EDY: I knew it was swimming. I had a gut feeling. Do you have your own pool?

DS: Yes--100 meters in the living room.

EDY: Most of your books seem to have an autobiographical nature to them? Do you get sick of talking about yourself or answering questions about yourself in interviews?

DS: Yes. i think we're done, no?

EDY: Will a horse ever be put on the moon?

DS: just yesterday this happened, actually, according to a text message I received.
EDY: Hows the back?
DS: Great, actually.

EDY: Would you want to own a pet if it could talk to you?

DS: No. their appeal is silence.

EDY: I may have eaten three bagels and eight eggs this morning for breakfast. Think you can beat that

DS: I'm a big oatmeal fan.

EDY: What do you think of Dave Shields?

DS: Don't know him.
EDY: Ever met him?
DS: n/a

EDY: What would the conversation go like if you did?

DS: n/a