The IRONMAN.  Few participate, fewer go on to win.  For those of you who have never participated in the IRONMAN, or spent any amount of time with me within two months before or after IRONMAN season, I have for you, The IRONMAN for Dummies:

What is the IRONMAN?  The IRONMAN is an annual event that has pitted anywhere between four and ten competitors since its inception in the summer of 2003.  Throughout a single day, the competitors face off in a series of seven events.  Last year the events were (in order) Beach Volleyball, Basketball, Football, Ultimate Frisbee, Eggball, Obstacle Course, and Roofball.  Of the seven events, only Basketball, the Obstacle Course and Roofball have been a part of the IRONMAN every year.  Each athlete can accrue as few as zero and as many as three points per event, and the competitor with the most points in all at the end of the day is the IRONMAN for the next 365 days, and is awarded a trophy and unimaginable bragging rights along with it.

Who is the IRONMAN?  Nick Punto.  As I forced myself out of bed a full hour earlier than usual for my first workout, the image of his sunburned arms hoisting the trophy above his head is what drove me to keep running. 

Where is the IRONMAN?  Merriam Park was the main host for the first five years, though various basketball courts and fields in Saint Paul have been utilized over the years.  The event now takes place at The Farm. 

When is the IRONMAN?  We, uh... we don't know.  Probably in July.  Definitely in the summer.

Why is the... why isn't this grammatically correct?  Why is the IRONMAN?  Does there need to be a why?  Can I answer a question with a question?  If I must, the IRONMAN started as a sacred day of the year when a group of friends got together and devoted themselves to nothing but sports from sun-up to sun-down... and has become, to quote IRONMAN I and VI, Nick Punto, "The single most important day of the year."  I know very little about my plans for this summer, but I do know that those plans will be molded around the IRONMAN. It is long, it is grueling, it is smelly, and there is a chance of salmonella poisoning, but above all else, it is glorious.

I am on a quest to win IRONMAN VII.  Today I declare my candidacy to take the throne as the next IRONMAN.  After a long, long, Minnesota winter during which most of my exercise came through walking backwards and walking through snow with a sled over my shoulder, I am dreadfully out of shape.  Conditioning is essential for any serious IRONMAN contender and what better way to improve one's conditioning than by jogging? 

I woke up at 7:10am.  My jogging clothes were laid out on my bedroom floor for me.  I groggily stepped into them, created a mini playlist on my iPod (a quality work out mix is CRUCIAL for IRONMAN exercising; mine included "Magick" by Ryan Adams and "You" by Atmosphere) laced up my running shoes and took off for two laps around the nearby park.  The park is an oval in shape and is approximately .85 miles/lap.  It includes my school, two playgrounds and up until the thaw, several ice rinks.  I started off fired up, ready to run, and midway through the first lap started fighting the urge to slow it down to a power walk.  My hamstrings were sore from spending spring break walking around D.C. and my stomach was grumbling from my lack of breakfast and incredible amounts of happy hour food that I consumed throughout said spring break.  Lap two is when I broke into a sweat beneath my sweatshirt and ski cap, despite the 30 degree temperatures of the Minnesota morning.  I was =w=eezing by the time I hit the ice rinks and had to spit continuously during the last half mile.  It was disgusting; it is nothing compared to what the first event in July will be like.  I trotted up the hill to me apartment complex and collapsed on the ground.  I almost fell back asleep but I pulled myself together enough to do some stretches and sit ups.  I went inside, showered, choked down some breakfast and went to work. I walked to work today.

I will mix in various conditioning routines during my training, but most exercises will be catered towards specific events.  As always, I am open to innovative suggestions about ways I can get myself ready to bring down Nick Punto and become IRONMAN VII.  Nick, if you aren't intimidated now, get ready to be intimidated in the nearish future.