The other day my friend John and I went to the forest and we said, “Hello you damn trees.” The trunks didn’t respond so we started to kick them and still nothing happened and we were like, “This isn’t very much different from the time we went to the liquor store and we saw that bum passed out on the sidewalk. Anyway, my foot got tired of kicking pretty quickly. I think John’s foot got tired too. We stopped kicking about the same time. John looked at his watch. I didn’t have a watch so I pretended to watch some birds migrate or maybe they were just molting. I did pick up one of the stray feathers, but I did not sing “Yankee Doodle” when I stuck it in my hat. John had finished looking at his watch at this point. “I think my watch is broken,” he said. “Damn it John,” I said, “I’m not a watch doctor.” I then grabbed the watch off his wrist and threw it in the river. A few seagulls who I had seen earlier dove after the broken watch, but they didn’t get it before it fell in the water and sunk. “That was my watch,” said John. “No shit,” I said. “I’m a little upset.” “You’ll get over it.” “I don’t know. I really liked that watch.” “I’m bored John. Let’s play a game.” “Is this game going to help me get my watch back?” “No.” “Oh.” “Do you still have those Jolly Ranchers?” “Yeah, why?” “Let’s just climb this tree.” We climbed the tree. “Now what?” asked John. “Okay, the rules of the game are that we suck on these Jolly Ranchers and then when someone walks underneath us we drop the candy on their head. “I miss my watch,” said John. game created by Mark Baumer