I want to warn you that the following rules are very painful to read and I’d like to apologize for that on behalf of myself. I believe this game is perfect for those self-centered individuals who enjoy only talking about themselves which some have claimed is a fault of mine. I will now tell you the rules because that is what you expect of me. I will begin now, the rules are as follows, if you will continue to follow me. I like the first rule which is that players, on specified competition days, must begin every sentence they speak or write with the first person singular subjective pronoun, or I. I am now going to tell you the consequences of not following this rule, but I will only do it after this camel stops looking at me. I have lied; there is no camel looking at me. I have a brain and that brain tells me that you lose the game if you do not follow the first rule; of course, this isn’t the only thing my brain tells me. I understand that basic intuitive skills will inform you that the winner is the person who can go a whole competition day by following the first rule and you would be right, but there are a few problems apparent to me. I see that it could be a problem if all participating players followed the first rule and no one lost because then everyone would be winners and that doesn’t sit well with me. I am now going to tell you the second rule so don’t run away from me. I open my mouth and words come out and I point at them and ask if they are mine. I am usually happy when this happens to me. I have gotten off track; don’t be mad at me. I will now continue with the second rule which is a player can gain extra points by ending his sentences, both written or spoken, with any first person singular pronoun which you will now be listed here by me. I, me, myself, mine, and my. I like to brag because I am so great in that mind of mine. I will now brag that I have ended each sentence in this paragraph with a first-person singular pronoun such as me, I, and mine, but I have yet to try my. I have told you the second rule, but I have not told you what the rewards are for using words like me and mine. I think it is fair that each sentence that follows the second rule be awarded one bonus point though things may be different if it were up to me. I would change a few things if it were up to me. I would first make myself the reigning king of all games and the best anyone could do is finish second behind me. I would also give ice cream sandwiches to myself. I believe there may be some people worried that the second rule doesn’t eliminate the possibility of having more than one winner; in fact, those people I speak of have to include me. I tell the third rule then which is on the egg pan in front of me. I stop; listen to me. I tell of other things before the third rule comes out of that mouth of mine. I tell you that proper and grammatically correct sentences are not needed to be victorious in the opinion of me. I laugh poop in the textbook with eleven birds on the myself. I bet you never thought that last sentence would count, but it counts, believe me. I finally will tell you the third rule which I saved for last because it is a favorite of mine. I understand the third rule to be the tiebreaker to decided the ultimate champion which is completely fine with me. I tell you the third rule when it comes from that mouth of mine. I tell you that the third rule is between the two competitors who are tied and these players don’t always have to be me. I hope that I always win; it is a goal of mine. I sometimes like to do the third rule when no one is looking or listening to me. I believe the third rule is a competition of who can say “I” the longest using only one breath, so it kind of stretches out like this, “Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…” I have no more to say from that mouth of mine. I lied to everyone listening to me. I am the best; look at me. game created by Mark Baumer