And I’m walking down the street whistling to myself saying, “Hancock…Hancock, Hancock.” All the bums look at me. Why are they always down by the park looking at me begging for train fare? Hancock sits outside the McDonalds. He sings “Rock ‘n Roll McDonalds.” Someone comes out of the college radio station and says, “Mr. Willis, do you mind if we interview you for our radio show.” He doesn’t say anything. He’s tired of coming up with Will Smith lines for Will Smith. He doesn’t want to have to start pretending he’s the second coming of Wesley Willis. He lets him die. Your friend should have been there.

Hancock is tired of sitting out front of the McDonalds. He goes in and asks for an application. He forgets he doesn’t know how to read and write. They say, “Can you flip a burger?” He isn’t sure. They put him on the fry basket. He wears his sunglasses. Some of the customers complain. He reaches into their stomach and takes back the fries. They fire him on the second day.

He decides to give the army a try. They stick him in a Jungle. They say, “End the war. Use your special powers.” He is tired of using them. He’d rather hump his way through to freedom. He gets thrown out of the army for insubordination.

He calls up his brother Phil. Phil doesn’t answer. Phil is busy. Phil is mortal and envious of Hancock because he just seems to waste everything he’s given. He’s also jealous because Hancock is Will Smith and he’s Charlie Murphy.

Hancock returns to McDonalds and throws the kid working the fry basket through the glass front window. He is kind of sorry. McDonalds doesn’t give him his job back. He still shows up each day and wears his own uniform made out of old McDonald wrappers. Things are looking up.