review: X-files: I want to believe

Scully quit the FBI. She wants to broaden her career. "I want
to be a doctor on ER."
They don't want her. She becomes a nun. Mulder grows a beard.
It is very cold. He wishes he knew if aliens grew beards or not.
He is back and forth on whether a beard is the truth he has been
searching for or not. Every other month he cuts it off and wakes up the
next morning feeling abducted. Scully
sleeps next to him. She dreams about hot
tubs full of panda bears and it scares her and has her waking in the middle of
the night screaming, “No. No. No.” She remembers the television show Chicago
Hope and thinks she could have gotten on that show if it was still
around. The producers of ER frighten her. She actually can’t watch the show. The last time she watched Anthony Edwards was
raped or something. She watched it with
her mother. “Wait,” Scully thinks, “Do I
have a mother?” Yes, she does. It was very uncomfortable to watch Anthony
Edwards get raped on primetime television. It may have even been the live episode of ER. They did two
performances. One for the east coast and
one for the west coast. Scully remembers
thinking it must be very uncomfortable for Anthony Edwards to get raped twice
on live television. For some reason Scully
is a little annoyed. Thinking of ER gets her upset. She wishes Mulder would stop cutting out
newspaper articles and tacking them on the wall. He wishes she wouldn’t just get in bed and
turn her back to him each night. They
have problems. There is a physic down
the street that Mulder suggests they go to and get married counseling from. “First off,” says Scully, “We’re not married
and second, I heard he molests little boys.” Mulder thinks they should still go. “That has nothing to do with our relationship,” he says, “I think it
would really help.” The other nuns at
the hospital Scully works at make fun of her behind her back. She does not care. She gives them the finger. They cover their mouths. Mulder thinks maybe he would look better without
a beard. He cuts it off. It starts to snow. He believes it might be a sign. He drives off the road. He understands. A dog tries to bite him. Russians shoot the dog and try and attach the
dog head to Mulder’s shoulder. Scully
visits the psychic with a history of touching little boys. He says he sees a man’s body with a dog’s
head. Scully leaves without paying. That night she sleeps alone. She still keeps her back turned to Mulder’s
side of the bed. In her dreams her and
Mulder are in a rowboat.