There once was this rat named Herb Peterson. He liked diet soda and eating eggs. Only eggs are important in this rat’s life story because his greatest feat was creating something which every American child has at some time or another been curious about.

In 1972, Herb was broke. His family was eating twigs just to survive. Fortunately he lived in the greatest nation in the world and knew that there was always hope. His salvation would be the egg. On a cold February morning Herb took his family’s last egg (they had eaten the chicken the night before) and slapped it on an English muffin (they had used all of the American wonder bread to lure the Chicken into their oven). At first he was a little weary of the concoction, but hunger took over and after one bite he knew he had stumbled upon genius. Instead of finishing the sandwich he put it in his pocket wrapped in the previous day’s newspaper and set out to find someone who would understand his genius. He went to all the great staples of American dinning: KFC, Taco Bell, Hooters, Pizza Hut. Each of them took a bit of the creation and passed. They said it wasn’t for them. Eventually he was down to one last bite and he decided to knock on old Ronald McDonald’s door. Of course, the rest is history. We salute you Mr. Egg McMuffin inventor. I hope they fill your coffin up with eggs.