Yeah went out to dinner with his girlies. They all put up status messages that said, “Out with the girlies…so much fun…my girlies are the best.” Yeah picked them up in a spaceship and drove them to KFC. The girlies were disappointed Yeah wanted to eat at KFC. Yeah didn’t care and ordered four buckets of chicken for him and his girlies. His girlies complained. Yeah felt bad, but still made them eat a bucket each. When they were finished Yeah drove his space ship home. His spaceship was made by Toyota in 1992.

The warm sleep tasted quite good. I poked my feet out the end of the blankets and felt the previous night’s snowfall melt between my toes. I heard eggs frying, but pulled the blankets over my head. The patterns of the sheets were quite complicated. It took me hours to figure them out. By noon the eggs were burnt and cold. The warm sleep had gotten sweaty and stunk. There was a note on the table from Yeah. It said, “I’ve gone fishing in the city’s water supply. I left some money on the bureau for bail.” Part of me wanted to eat the eggs and go back to bed, but instead I walked to the coffee shop. The woman behind the counter asked me what I wanted and winked. I told her I wanted some worms and a fishing pole. She laughed and said I was the second person to ask for fishing gear that day. She pointed in the corner. Yeah had his head down on one of the tables and was eating sleep.

Yeah and I played basketball today. Some of the Louboys from the ant village were hustling the courts for most of the afternoon. All the games were to the hundred. Sometimes a new Louie would show up and say, “What’s the score?” and someone would tell the new Lew the score. One new Louis got really upset when he heard the score was 5-3. He said, “They not even in double digits. Damn, I’m out. Gonna go get me some squidheads or a coke or something.” In the game before Yeah and I played an elderly Lou fall on his back. The Loudad was okay, but he worried his wife would be mad at him for playing basketball so he said he was going home to shower and eat some raw ground beef. Everyone laughed. One of the Louboys said, “That old Loupop don’t even cook his meat.” When it was our turn to play the Louboys all looked strung-out and tired. Their heads were nodding. Yeah didn’t care. He kept running to the hoop and dunking it. After he dunked to make the score 73-41 he said, “I am the ant village.” This got the Louboys riled up. Some Louies eating squidheads came out of the market to watch. A few minutes later the Louboys tied the game at 97 when one of them made a half-court shot. Yeah wasn’t worried. He said, “I don’t even care. Give me the ball.” I gave him the ball. He began dribbling by himself in a corner for a few minutes. The Louboys got upset. Yeah turned to them and raised his arms. He said, “I’m the ant prince. No one can stop me.” Then he ate the ball and ran home.

The biscuits were blooming. Yeah took a breath once and chocked on the biscuit nectar. It was the only thing he ever did with biscuits. Sometimes he thought he wasn’t sure if he was breathing. Once I thought I was a sword. Yeah took me and stabbed his brother in the eye. Yeah’s brother bled all over my mother’s sofa. She asked who bled on her sofa. I said, “It was Yeah’s brother ‘Munch Thunder Flume.’” This made my mother angry and she told me to sell my baseball cards to pay for a new sofa. A few days later Yeah came home from computer technician camp. He said, “Your shirt has a sword on it. Did you buy it from the cotton man? Why is it all bloody? I heard my brother gouged his eyeball out. I didn’t even know I had a brother, but I guess he lives behind the sofa. Who knew? Sometimes I pretend I live behind the sofa, but I don’t have the courage to actually do it.” A month later I moved into a building with a blind doorman. He sort of could see with one of his eyes, but only when he wore his monocle and he never wore his monocle. Sometimes we’d talk about my mother’s sofa. Other times I would stand next to him for hours thinking he didn’t know I was there, but every time he would always turn and poke me right on the left eyebrow and say, “Biscuits.”

It was Yeah’s birthday. He decided he would celebrate his birthday every time anyone else celebrated their birthday. All his friends were in jail. Some of them were dead. Yeah told me to put a Styrofoam container of orange chicken in place of his missing friends at the dinner table. I served everyone cat. I even put some glasses of milk in the fire place. None of the Styrofoam containers of Yeah’s missing friends tried to eat the cat. No cats were eaten. I made a cake to celebrate. I also began eating Yeah’s missing friends, but got sick because they weren’t cooked fully. Yeah told me not to eat his friends.

I dropped my phone in a pond and it sunk. Yeah laughed. He did not stop laughing for three hundred years. In those three hundred years I got a new phone and every time I used it Yeah stopped laughing and was sad and asked me to throw it in a pond so I had to hang up and put the phone away so Yeah would stop frowning and continue laughing.

My telephone is a 13:45 clock phase wrapped in black suede. Roll twelve barrels into a corner and laugh at them if they’re fill with shined, chromed, fish darts. Yeah woke me at 1:13am and said, “Throw chainsaws at the ping pongs.” I saw the fat ankle on the bus. He said, “I’m sore. I twisted myself. It feels like a dog is in my dog.” Yeah said, “I once bought a horse and it came with a man.” Fat ankle said, “I know the guy who comes with the horse. I sometimes play basketball with him.”

Yeah fell asleep in the garage. Someone put his child in my basement. There was a circular pool of water. I ate breakfast. My ex-wife stole my television. A guy was giving away free t-shirts, but he didn’t give me one. I bought a bag of candy. Yeah threw up on a squirrel and became the lead singer in a famous band. His son was mistaken for a girl twice. I saw a man’s arm fall off, but then it got reattached. The escalators at the mall are confusing. Where am I? I met someone. It was their birthday. I smelled heroin on their breath. They asked me for a dollar. I waited until their eyes rolled into the back of their head and ran home. Yeah was in the sink trying to go back in time twenty years.

I was a victim of the world’s greatest ego. It told me to plug in my chair and turn it on. I sat down and leaned back. Someone saw my extension cord and told me to unplug the chair. They were concerned with the environment. I wasn’t even sure the chair was plugged into anything effecting the environment. Yeah said, “Give that chair some juice. It’s suffering.” He handed me a t-shirt. I wiped my face. He told me to drink the soup. I wanted to stir the pot a little longer. The table next to us was irritating. They had their bank accounts stapled to their foreheads and their cell phones were on speaker. I forgot about stirring the pot and drank the soup so we could pay and leave. On the way home a car of full grown men asked me for some dollars. I gave them two lamps and a hug. They called me a fag. I kissed them goodnight.

I found something dead in the library. It removed all the skin from its body and hung itself from a water pipe. Yeah said, “We should really bag this up and eat some barbeque.” I did not agree with my friend, but I have been looking for more ways to get protein. I didn’t think eating a dead object found in the library was an option. It doesn’t seem like the kind of protein you would want to be eating. I’m very confused about protein sometimes. I ate one of those odwalla 33g vanilla protein shakes and it tasted like soap. I’ve had the chocolate odwalla 33g protein shake and it tasted like chocolate. I don’t think I will ever get the vanilla one again. After Yeah and I found the dead thing we went in a classroom and began lecturing. He sang the pledge of allegiance. I ate a cookie and clapped like a seal. When we were done no one said anything. I kind of was hoping for applause, but I think I understand why we didn’t receive any.

Today on the bus a man said, “I got out of jail and broke my parole three times and then got sixty days.” His friend said, “Sixty days ain’t anything.” Yeah tried to tell the guys he had a couple of overdue library books. Another man in the bus crowd was jealous of my ear coverings. He said, “Three of friends didn’t have heads and so they thought it was cool to never wear winter hats, but I always liked to wear them even though my friends thought it was dumb. They fell off their lawnmowers and from the shoulders up they didn’t have anything. They were alright for a few years, but then that west coast virus began eating at the other end of their bodies. Birds were burrowing in through their feet.” When we got off the bus I followed Yeah over to a marsh. Yeah said, “I grew up near the most famous marsh in the world. It was much bigger than this marsh.” Yeah said, “The marsh where I grew up was where they first discovered the sound of birds.” I watched a woman jump over the marsh we were looking at. Yeah followed her. I jumped too. When we got home we saw the wreckage. Our driveway was a club that got tore up over the weekend. A thousand people tried climbing my basketball hoop. It was okay. I was able to wear a shirt made out of twill which everyone at the party enjoyed. As I tried to stand the basketball hoop back up I finally understood the darker features of a crumb.

There was one blanket left in the plastic box. I put the plastic box in my hand and it disappeared. The blanket was blueberry. I made it with the $1.35 I had in my pocket. All the ingredients were already put together before I created it. All I had to do was eat. There were so many extra blankets in the store that they gave me three extras. I walked to the basketball courts. The cashier who rung me out was in training. His girlfriend was the manager. They were a very cute couple. I wanted to buy them a wedding gift, but he was nervous and gave me the wrong receipt. I didn’t notice until I got to the basketball courts. I took a shot and the ball went in the hoop and someone told me not to celebrate too much, but Yeah was already eating all the blankets.

The water under the bridge had one ice cube in it, but the ice cube melted before I could say anything to it. I’m not sure if I was supposed to tell anyone that I had seen an ice cube in the water under the bridge. A few years ago Yeah was walking over a bridge and saw an ice cube in the river and called someone to let them know what he had seen.

Yeah found a branch and it reminded him of a morning when he was a small child and he hid in the reeds. Yeah pretended to shoot guns when he was this child. He held up a stick and yelled gun noises.

The podium was unstable. We had to wire it so it wouldn’t fall apart when the first man spoke. Yeah roped off the speaking area. The first man was unsatisfied with the size and asked for the area to be enlarged. Yeah tried to stretch the ropes, but they were made of aluminum quilted tissue. The second man asked if there was any synthetic cotton wire gauze. I looked in the medicine cabinet under the podium. The first man was already trying to crawl into the speaking area. I asked him to hold off a second, but he said he was in a hurry. I asked him if he had a plane to catch. He said he did. I asked him when it was taking off. The man said, “I will fly again someday and it is important that I’m on time.” I stopped looking in the medicine cabinet. I let the man speak. He was large, but only whispered. The podium fell apart when he began the second paragraph of his speech.

I saw a woman with button checks. Her hips fell off. She suggested I buy an umbrella. I asked her what sizes she had. Yeah nudged my back and whispered in my ear, “Big ‘brella”. The woman with button checks and no hips said, “We have big umbrellas.” I looked at the rain falling outside. My socks were wet. I couldn’t afford to keep buying new socks. I couldn’t afford to sink a couple thousand into water damages. The sealant in collar was worn thin. The woman said, “Your hair is wet. I had a child who died of pneumonia.” Yeah rubbed my collar between his fingers. The woman said, “I throw in a bear magnet.” I asked if she had any other magnets. She said, “Bear magnet and big ‘brella. Final offer.” I signed on the dotted line. I think people were amused at the size of my new umbrella.

I ran to the drycleaners because the drycleaners was giving washing machines away. I didn’t need a washing machine, but I could use a dryer and I thought maybe the drycleaners were giving away dryers. And they were. I saw a guy with four dryers on the roof of his truck and got excited. I really could use my own dryer. I would probably use it every night and figure out some way to connect to more than one wall socket at a time to see if it would run faster. The guy in the truck with four dryers watched me look at his four dryers. He laughed and said, “I got the last four.” I ran inside the drycleaners anyway. I had some shirts. I came out with one shirt and no dryers. The guy in the truck yelled, “You fucked up the password,” and drove off. One of the dryers fell off the truck when he went through the intersection, but someone else grabbed it before I could claim it. I ended up taking a free washing machine and dragging it home. I thought Yeah might want it, but when I called his house he said, “I picked up a bunch last week when the laundry mat was giving them away.”

Yeah was throwing weights around the athletic facility. The man who scans cards said, “Hey Jimmy, cool your engine nuts.” Yeah apologized. In the shower Yeah wondered if his feet were going to salmonella. He showered on his tiptoes. I told him not to worry. My feet were wrapped in shower boots. We yelled at a specific girl in red when we left the gym. She had headphones on. She didn’t hear us. Yeah ran the other direction. I followed. He bought two burritos for the price of one. He ate half and put the rest in his pocket. Around 6:30 we walked down the hill and went to a coffee shop. Yeah got a V8. I got a hot apple cider. They were throwing out pastries so we got scones for free. The scones tasted so good I almost said, “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.”

I woke up at 4am. I ate cereal bar. I ate some jelly on toast. I put the coffee on. Yeah asked why I was up at 4am. I told him I was hungry. He didn’t understand. I lifted up the television and set it on his pillow next to his head. I turned on the television. Yeah rolled over and hugged it.

We left at 8am. A man with a scratchy voice was yelling at cars in the street. Yeah was hungry so we stopped at a bodega on the west side of Providence. I bought two bananas and a Vitamin Water. Yeah bought a lottery ticket and looked inside the ice cream cooler for two minutes. Ten minutes after we left the Bodega Yeah was hungry again. We passed an abandoned McDonalds. I saw a dead cat, but didn’t point it out to Yeah. A firetruck went somewhere. There was a motel and another motel. At a traffic light a car stopped on a green to let us cross. We walked up a hill. I found a stick and gave it to Yeah. He waved it at cars. I worried we didn’t know where we were. Yeah said, “It doesn’t matter where we are.” We kept walking. At some point we might turn around and walk home. At Peeptoad Brook Yeah threw a stone in the water and then we kept walking. We each found a walking stick. Yeah swung his over his head and yelled, “Mother, mother, motherfuckerssssssss.” A man stopped and asked where the highway was. Neither of us knew. The man seemed upset and kept driving. The sun came out. I took off my scarf. Yeah took off his shirt. A car yelled at us. Yeah raised his walking stick in the air. It was noon. I worried we might never get to Connecticut. My legs hurt. Yeah pointed at a gas station. We kept walking. I saw a store that sold guns. Yeah ran inside. I kept walking. A few minutes later Yeah caught up and said, “I almost bought one.” I saw a dog. It didn’t follow us. Around two o’clock I saw a billboard that said, “Buy a car, just minutes from Brooklyn, CT.” We kept walking. Over the next hill I saw a green and white sign. As we got closer I saw it said, “Connecticut Welcomes You.” I walked over the state line and then turned around. Yeah said he didn’t feel like stepping over the state line. We turned around and began walking back the way we’d come. Yeah held out his thumb. We walked for twenty minutes before someone pulled over. I got in the back. There was an Italian guy with a diamond stud in his ear in the driver’s seat and a Portuguese man in the passenger’s seat. They drove us back to Providence.

Two boys were standing in their boots outside a dance club. Neither boy was allowed in the dance club because a man at the door said, “No one is allowed to stand in boots in the dance club.” Yeah offered to trade foot ware with the boys. He said, “I will trade you my shoes for $40.” The two boys took off their boots to try on Yeah’s shoes. I thought maybe Yeah would run home and the boys would have to put their shoes back on. I remember once Yeah was in a shoe store and he knew the shoe clerk. The shoe clicked touched his eyelid when he saw Yeah. The shoe clerk was not gentle. He pressed his eyelid until Yeah felt pressure on his own eyelid. After Yeah ran home and left the boys with their boots he asked me if his eyelid was twitching. I looked at eyelid and it was still.

Look at my face. It’s hiding behind some real plants. On my face is a look of surprise. I wasn’t really surprised. You’re all fooled. In the rain forest there are pink sheets in the blender. I was a teenage orange grove. The last minute of my first Olympics was spent in a dehumidifier. I sold my body as beef jerky. Someone bought my arm. Yeah stole my arm from someone else and ate it. There was a lawsuit. I bought winter gloves because I knew it would be a long winter. The court made its decision when I turned thirty.

I saw a man at the ATM. I asked him what he was doing. Yeah said, “Give me a dollar.” The man only had $20 bills. Yeah said, “Rip me off a dollar’s worth.” The man didn’t want to and threatened to call someone of authority. Yeah kicked the ATM. I told the man he could talk to whoever he wanted. The world is great in that people can talk to other people.

There was a book waiting for me in the library. I went to the library, but Yeah had already checked it out. I found him in the Japanese literature section. He was connecting the Japanese letters with blue ink. He held up a page and asked me what it looked like. I could not guess. He said, “It’s a box.” His picture wasn’t even square.

I was walking home from the bus stop and I picked up a trash can to throw at some friends. After I picked up my friends I realized I didn’t have any trashcans. I was alone. I called Yeah, but he didn’t answer. He was playing video games. I didn’t even know Yeah had a video game console. Xbox 360. I wanted to play video games, but I am a terrible human being and god will never forgive me. He said, “You’ve fucked up greater than anyone I know.” This made me angry so I threw the trash can and pretended it landed on god even though I knew it didn’t. The trash can landed on some cement. God isn’t made of cement.

Yeah was walking home. A man pulled over his Mercedes and asked Yeah if he was going to get drunk at a bar. Yeah was not going to a bar. The man was wearing a beanie and talked like he was from Lebanon. He asked Yeah if he was hungry. Yeah was hungry. He got in the Mercedes. They drove. The man said, “Little Caesars.” Yeah laughed and pointed at a pizza place that wasn’t Little Caesars. The man gave Yeah $20 and told him to buy pizza. The man stayed in his Mercedes. He said, “I don’t like pizza. They know me in there. They’ll make fun of me. I was in college, but I had a mental block and I couldn’t finish. I took some time off. I have not been back. I work as a hostess at a restaurant. I like French literature, but I can’t write anymore. My mental block has been extended. For a few weeks I thought I would be a piano player, but I can’t play. I will go to Germany one day. I’ve never heard of the movie Avatar. I only like French movies. I think I will go to Paris again someday. I like Egypt too. You can rent a taxi for the day. It only costs $30.” I went in the pizza place, ordered a pizza, ate it, and ran home. Yeah got back in the Mercedes with the man. They went to a bar and drank tonic waters.

Look at these wings. I want a slice of pizza with fourteen wings on it. The girl in the subway was eating caesar salad on her pizza. Yeah told her she was doing it all wrong. He took her pizza and ran. He could only run in circles. She said, “I don’t want to marry you.” I laughed because Yeah had already bought the ring. I asked if I could have a bite of Yeah’s new pizza. He threw the salad in front of an oncoming train. He said, “Let’s buy a bag of flour and put it in our hair and then we can eat some buffalo pretzels.” Another train wasn’t coming for twenty minutes. We had time to get the pizza, but we didn’t. The girl was pizza and her boots got fat. She smoked a cigarette pizza.

When you don’t go to sleep your face gets greasy and your hair tastes good. Yeah was tired of sucking on my hair and went to a little diner in the village. He ordered six eggs instead of three.

I saw a small boy in the Antarctic. He was wearing a flashlight on his head. The fur on the hood of his coat reminded me of Yeah’s pet rabbit. Yeah loved the rabbit, but also wanted a fur collar on his sweater. When Yeah gave me a small knife and asked me if I would behead his pet I said, “I’m not sure this knife is big enough.” Yeah told me to follow him. We walked to a chapel. We lay down in the aisles until they asked us to sit in the pews. We lay under the pews and they didn’t say anything. Yeah asked if I had found my answer. I nodded. We went back to his apartment. The rabbit was gone. Yeah said, “I must have left the cage door open.” I saw the rabbit in the corner, but didn’t say anything.

Some boys asked me what I was doing. They asked if I was bored. They said they wanted my hat and asked if I would trade it for one of their sweatshirts. Yeah told me to make the trade. He told me to dress like some boys. He said, “Your hat is dumb.” I did not make the trade.