This year Alex Butzbach has decided to celebrate each day of Hanukkah by honoring a different member of Wu-Tang Clan each day Today, I put on a yarmulke for the first time. I had one made that was embroidered with “Masta Killa” on it, and the guy beyond the counter gave me a weird look. He was wearing one too, but his was unadorned by the name of a member of the illest rap group this side of the Mississippi. I was unperturbed by his shadowy glance, if a little disappointed that he hadn’t wanted to engage in a rap battle. As I walked out the door of the embroidery shop into weather which looked ready to release a blizzard, I expertly balanced the sacred hat on top of quickly expanding Jew-Fro. I probably used around 20 bobby pins to secure it in place. At this point, I looked something like a cross between Ben Wallace circa 2005, Al Franken, and Pinhead from Hellraiser. That was okay by me, since I knew that I walked blamelessly in the eyes of Yahweh, He who is most praiseworthy and just. However, as I tried to walk back to my apartment, groups of grubby children began to follow me. I hastened my stride as more and more street urchins began to form a milling crowd around me, but it was for naught. Soon they had surrounded me. I was forced to stop. I looked over their heads to see if anyone nearby was seeing this unsettling phenomenon, but for some reason, the streets were empty. Finally, I turned to one of the children, a short, particularly filthy one who seemed to me to be their leader. “Hey…What’s up?” At this, he and the other children simply peered penetratingly into my eyes. I could feel their gaze as it withered my corneas and burned dozens of pairs of pinpricks on my retinas. I started to get dizzy. “So…what do you want, exactly.” This was more of statement than a question. I didn’t think that they’d actually answer me. I just needed to hear the sound of my own voice to confirm that I still existed. With the confirmation I needed, I decided to see if my legs still existed as well. I slowly moved to my left, and an opening cleared within the urchins. They let me pass. I decided not to waste the opportunity. Just as I had put about ten feet between myself and these urchins, one of them yelled to me. “Wait!” I almost didn’t stop, but pitying their wretched appearance, I stopped and turned around. They hadn’t moved, but they all craned their necks to face me. Before I had a chance to ask them what they needed now, they began to chant in unison. “The Lord God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, is your God now. Go in peace.” At that, they immediately scattered and soon disappeared into alleyways and side streets. I was left standing there, confused and wondering. As I looked up to the sky, it cleared and the sun began to shine down. There was a spring in my step as I made the journey of a few blocks to my apartment. When I returned, I picked up my study bible and learned that part of what the children had said to me was an excerpt from Exodus, Chapter 3. Upon this discovery, I leaned back and contentedly removed my yarmulke. As I drifted into sleep, I dreamt of the Holy Land and my new adopted people. Today, I am a Jew. Check out the previous days:day one and day two and day three review by Alex Butzbach