obituaries

RIP Herb Peterson

rip herb peterson

There once was this rat named Herb Peterson. He liked diet soda and eating eggs. Only eggs are important in this rat’s life story because his greatest feat was creating something which every American child has at some time or another been curious about.

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RIP that old guy

Nicholas Kao Se Tseien is dead. He was 110 years old. It is unclear how he died. Some believe he passed away in his sleep. One supposed witness claims that they saw Nicholas get run over by a bus in Topeka. Though investigators don’t want to rule anything out they are unsure if it is possible for a man to get run over by a bus in Kansas when he’s never left the continent of Asia. Not a lot is known about the life of Nicholas. Reports that he was an avid fan of Chinese checkers in his later years have since been proven to be false.
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RIP Bob Craig Knievel, Jr.

Bob Craig Knievel, Jr. died on November 30, 2007. He was 69 years old. Initial reports from the coroner claim that Bob Craig died as the result of complications stemming from diabetes and idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis which he had been suffering from for many years. Many who knew Bob Craig called him a daredevil or insane, but he often responded by saying, “A rat’s got to eat too don’t they?” And eat he did. He ate for at least 67 of the 69 years he lived. In fact, many in the competitive eating circuit point to Bob Craig as the inspiration that led them to choose the path they chose.
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