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10:53 minutes (1.88 MB)Today I needed to have a tooth removed. Through the mixing up of phone numbers and miscommunication with his receptionist, I ended up making an appointment with my childhood dentist, Dr. Vezina, or, as he would have us call him when we were kids, Dr. Funteeth. I wedge myself into one of the waiting room chairs and look at the wallpaper, the patterns of cute bears holding balloons and cute bears in uniforms and cute bears sadistically crushing smaller bears?— no, and cute bears holding smaller, slightly cuter bears. I wonder, what is the kind of person who’s job is to develop cute new ideas for kid friendly wall paper, and what might he or she be doing, wherever they are, at this very moment. I imagine he or she must be doing or watching other things do really cute stuff to give them new cute ideas. Perhaps somewhere an overweight woman has dressed her dog as peter pan and is repeatedly giving him the “roll over” command while eating adorable looking gingerbread cookies. Perhaps somewhere else an effeminate man who is losing his hair stands in his kitchen, looking at himself in a mirror while painting unicorns on his body with glitter paint. Perhaps somewhere else, even further away, a man looks up into the sun, directly into it, seriously damaging his retinas while imagining how cute it might look with a smiley face.